Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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