If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
