Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
