I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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