At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
