Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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