Midget sex pt 2 tonight
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
