Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
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on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
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Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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