How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
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