he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
