He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
