I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
