Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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