i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
