Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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