im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just cropdusted the office
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize