If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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