In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
