She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
