she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
