Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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