I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize