why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
