I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Randomize
