Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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