im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
there's paper in my vomit.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
