I am in a vortex of obligation.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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