my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
