Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize