sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
