Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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