wanna go halves on a baby?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
