No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
