it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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