At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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