What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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