So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
