If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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