Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
