You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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