I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I believe in your delicious
I have already put on my inside pants.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
