she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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