i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
