thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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