Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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