are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
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I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
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its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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