so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
