I wish I could punch you in the face.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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