and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
