It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He kissed a someone with a penis
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
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