I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i came on her dog
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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