I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I touched a dick in church today
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
