how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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