'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
