how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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