I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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